Jaded
by VDO'obessed
Summary: Bobby gets a new neighbor and love interst Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

It was a little after 1am, and Bobby was exhausted as he stepped into the elevator of his building. Maybe tonight sleep would actually come without the help of scotch and cigarettes, Eames would kill him if she knew he had started smoking again.

Just as he was about to hit the button for his floor he noticed a woman with two small children heading towards the elevator. She had one asleep on her shoulder and one asleep in a carrier; she had three bags in one hand and looked like she was about drop everything and everyone.

Bobby caught the doors as she stepped on just in time for one of her shopping bags to bust open. Diapers, milk and various other items scattered on the floor. She muttered "Damn it" as she set the carrier down and squatted to retrieve her items. Bobby squatted next to her to help her put her things in the remaining two bags and took in everything about her he could in 30 seconds. Which for Bobby Goren was a lot. She was young late twenties maybe early thirties, she had wavy shoulder length brown hair, green eyes, and looked as though she hadn't slept in days.

Alright he said to himself enough staring time to introduce myself,"Hi, I'm Bobby" he said giving her one of his best smiles. "Jamie" she said more annoyed than friendly and in a manner that implied she didn't really want to meet her new neighbors, at least not yet.

As they finished picking everything up Bobby stood and hit the button for the 4th floor, "You're in 6D right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Bobby flashed that handsome smile again and said "It's the only vacant one in the building. I'm your neighbor, I live across the hall in 7D."

"Nice to meet you, and thanks for helping me clean this stuff up." she said giving him a smile that made him forget how to breath.

Finding his voice Bobby said the one thing that every mother loved to hear," Your kids are cute, how old are they?"

Her face lit up and again she gave him that smile, "Thank you, Daylan's 3" indicating the little boy asleep on her shoulder "and Lilly's 2 weeks old."

As the elevator doors opened onto the 4th floor Bobby took the remaining bags from Jamie and walked her to her door. At the door he was struggling for something to say, anything that might get her to smile at him again. As she opened the door and thanked him again for his help Bobby's mind was racing trying to think of something to say.

That smile of hers had completely thrown him and he had to see it just one more time.

Jamie sat Lilly just inside in the door and reached for her bags, Bobby said the only thing he could think of "It was nice meeting you and if you ever need anything, I'm, you know right across the hall."

"It was nice to meet you too, Bobby. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around the building."

Jamie took her bags and closed the door. Bobby wanted to do more than see her around the building; it was insane he knew, she had 2 kids, one of which was a newborn, and hell he didn't even know if she was married. She didn't have a ring but nowadays that doesn't mean much. Bobby did the only thing he could think of. He knew it was kind of lame, but he knocked on her door anyway.

Jamie opened the door and gave Bobby a weak smile. Bobby handed her his card. "This is my card, you know if for some reason you ever need it." Bobby ran his hand over the back of his neck and chuckled nervously, an action which Jamie couldn't help but find very cute. Despite her better judgment.

As Jamie took the card from Bobby she flashed him that killer smile again and suppressed a chuckle as she watched this very big man suddenly turn into a very shy, yet very sexy, bundle of nerves.

"Thank you, um.. Detective Goren."

That's when he saw it, a flash of fear in her eyes as she read his card, anyone else probably wouldn't have noticed, but he wasn't anyone else.

Jamie recovered quickly after reading Bobby's card,"oh God", she thought, "why does he have to be a cop?"

"Thank you Detective, goodnight."

Jamie closed the door and left Bobby standing in the hallway confused and disappointed. It wasn't the reaction he usually got when women found out he was a cop. What really bothered him was the look in her eyes, she was  
running from something and he was more than a little concerned. As Bobby went into his apartment he  
couldn't help but wonder what Jamie's story was.

As Jamie locked the door her mind was racing with everything that could possibly go wrong. A cop was the last thing she needed, especially one right across the hall. Looking at Bobby's card, all Jamie could think was, of all the millions of people in New York I had to move in next to a cop, a major case detective no less.

As she settled on the couch to nurse Lilly, she tried to figure out what to do. She could always get a new apartment, but that takes money, something she didn't have right now. She could always call and tell them she had to leave New York, but she hated to do that. Bobby wasn't an actual threat, at least not yet.

A job, that's what she needed, she would start looking in the morning. Beyond that she just didn't know. All she really knew was she needed to avoid the big cop with the killer smile and the most amazing brown eyes she had ever seen.

Sleep didn't come for Bobby that night, although this time it wasn't the demons of his past that taunted him from the recesses of his mind. It was the very beautiful, very scared woman across the hall. He knew she was running, but the question is: from what?

It was almost two weeks before Bobby saw Jamie again. He had gone down to the laundry room to get his clothes out of the dryer and there she was. She was standing next to one of the dryers folding clothes when he entered. God, she's beautiful, he thought as he approached.

When she heard him enter alarm briefly flashed in her eyes, until she realized who it was. Once again Bobby noticed how quickly she was able hide it as she smiled at him.

"Hi, how are you?"

It took Bobby a moment to realize she had even spoken as her smile had once again left him fighting for breath. "I'm fine, and you?"

"We're fine."

Again that awkward silence where neither one knew what say hung in the air.

Bobby knelt down to speak to Daylan, who was sitting on the floor trying his best to make his baby sister laugh.

"Hi, you must be Daylan"

The little boy looked to his mother for approval before speaking to the stranger. Jamie nodded and the boy gave Bobby a big smile, very much like his mother's, and said, "Hi, how do you know my name?"

"Magic," Bobby said mysteriously.

"Na huh, there's no such thing as magic."

Bobby replied "Yes there is, magic is how I know you're name and your sister's name: Lilly."

"That's not magic, Mama probably told you."

"Then how do you explain this?" Bobby asked as he produced a quarter from behind Daylan's ear, leaving Daylan to stare at him in amazement.

Daylan slowly took the quarter from Bobby's hand and looked at it in awe. He jumped to his feet shouting "Mama. Mama!! Did you see that?? He's magic, he's really magic!!"

Jamie began to laugh, which really caused Bobby's heart to do back flips, "I guess he is magic. I hope your happy detective; every time he sees you, he's gonna want another magic trick."

"That's okay; I'll be sure to stock up on my quarters."

Upon hearing the word detective Daylan began jumping up and down at Bobby's side, "You're a 'tective, a real live, tective? Do you have a gun? Do you have a badge? Do you have handcuffs and one of those sticks to hit people with?"

Between the laughter Bobby tried to answer Daylan's questions "Yes, yes, yes, and we don't hit people with sticks."

"Then why do you have a stick?" Daylan asked, a confused look on his little face.

"We just do."

"That's not an answer."

Bobby looked up at Jamie pleadingly "Do you want to help me out a little here?"

Damn that smile, Jamie thought. She turned her attention to Daylan, "Police officers have night sticks in case they ever need to break a window or something like that."

"Oh" said Daylan. Turning his attention back to Bobby, his next question was "Why didn't you know that?"

"Because I'm not a mommy," Bobby said standing.

Daylan froze, and stared, a stunned expression on his upturned face. "God, you're HUGE!!"

Bobby and Jamie burst out in laughter.

"Sorry; he has a tendency to say whatever pops into his head," Jamie said apologetically.

"There's nothing wrong with telling the truth; I am kind of big." Bobby smiled that smile at her again.

"Well, we better be getting back upstairs."

"Do we have to Mama? I want Bobby to tell me some cop stories."

Bobby seized the opportunity. "Why don't we all go out for some pizza? On me."

At Jamie's hesitation Bobby added "Of course if your husband wouldn't mind."

"I'm not married."

"Boyfriend?"

"Nope."

"Then how about lunch?"

Jamie really didn't know what to do, so she said "I don't know it's almost time to feed to Lilly and..."

"Please, Mama, please? We haven't had pizza in forever," Daylan begged. Between the hopeful look on Daylan's face and the playful look on Bobby's face, Jamie relented.

"Okay, can you give us about an hour?"

Smiling triumphantly, Bobby said "I'll pick you guys up in an hour."

Leaving the laundry room Jamie knew she was in trouble. If the fact that he was a cop didn't get her, those eyes and that smile would.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon entering her apartment, Jamie was trying desperately to figure a way out of lunch.

"I wonder if I can convince him I came down with a sudden case of leprosy? No, with my luck he probably spent his summers volunteering at some kind of leper colony and would insist on nursing me back to health," she thought to herself.

As she began nursing Lilly, she decided to think positive.

"Okay, positive, he seems nice, Daylan really likes him, although Daylan doesn't need to get too buddy/buddy with a cop. He has amazing eyes, a great smile, and his voice, God his voice does things to me I didn't know were possible. Maybe he really is magic," Jamie laughed out loud at that thought. "He has very, very kissable lips and..."

"Damn, what's wrong with me?" Jamie thought to herself. I don't need to think like this about him; not about anyone. Not after everything that has happened; not after Sam.

Sam was handsome and very charming. He was tall, about 6ft, muscular, with sandy blonde hair and baby blue eyes. He was one of those guys who always knew just what to say and do, and Jamie had fallen hard and fast. He was perfect; at least that's what she had thought at the time.

It had started shortly after they were married. Sometimes all Jamie had to do to set him off was wake up in the mornings. She had tried to get help; she had even tried to leave him once, but one would help and Sam wouldn't let her leave. Guess that's what happens when you marry the local sheriff.

As Jamie finished nursing Lilly her mind unwillingly drifted back to the last time.

Sam had just been re-elected sheriff, and a party had been thrown for him at City Hall. The evening had gone well, or so she had thought.

Everyone had been there; the food and entertainment had been perfect. The food consisted of all of Sam's favorites, and the local up and coming band had brought the house down. Sam hadn't had that much to drink, he was sheriff after all; he had to set an example. More importantly, Jamie hadn't done anything to annoy or anger him all night.

As they went into the house Jamie thought that tonight would be better. How wrong she was.

He had grabbed her by her hair and jerked her backwards as soon as the front door closed. She had closed her eyes against the pain as his icy cold voice whispered in her ear.

"You worthless bitch. How long?"

"Baby, what are you talking about?" Jamie struggled to keep the fear out of her voice. He loved to hear the fear.

"You know what I'm talking about. How long have you been sleeping with him?"

"Who?"

"John."

John was the local judge. He was in his mid 50's and one of Sam's hunting buddies.

"I have never slept with John. I would never disrespect you like that, I love you. I would never..."

"LIAR!!!"

She fought against the trembling. "Baby, please. Please, baby; you know I love you. There has never been anyone else, you're the only one." Jamie was pleading him to believe her with her eyes. Any other way would have just angered him further. Begging of any kind was a sign of weakness and Sam didn't tolerate weakness.

"Why do you make me do this!!?" he was screaming now. If you would just be a good wife and mother I wouldn't have to do this!!!"

Suddenly all traces of anger were gone, and the eerie calmness of his voice caused her blood to run cold.

"I guess I need to teach you a lesson."

He stood and began to drag her to the bedroom.

The ringing of the doorbell shook Jamie from her trance like state.

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she heard Daylan come running down the hall shouting " 'tective Bobby, 'tective Bobby."

Jamie took a deep breath to settle her nerves as she opened the door.

Daylan was ready and he flung himself at Bobby's legs, catching the big man off guard and causing to take a step backwards to regain his balance.

Bobby smiled as he picked Daylan up.

"I can do it, I been practicin'," Daylan said excitedly.

"What have you been practicing?"

"The magic trick, watch. But first you have to close your eyes."

Bobby chuckled as he closed his eyes. He could feel Daylan wiggling in his arms as he got the quarter out of his pocket.

" 'Cadrabra, open your eyes!"

Bobby played the part well; he gave Daylan an amazed look as his eyes grew wide with surprise. "How did you do that? That was better than my trick."

"Magic," said Daylan almost imitating Bobby perfectly from earlier in the day.

"I thought you said there wasn't any magic."

"I was just kidding you," Daylan said with a big smile on his little face.

Bobby laughed again. As he looked at Jamie, he could tell she had been crying.

"Everything okay," he asked her softly.

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Bobby raised his eyebrow in question, causing Jamie to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and lower her head. When she looked back up at him, Bobby noticed the 'game face' was back.

Taking another deep breath Jamie asked "You ready to go?"

Bobby gave her a symphathic smile and shook his head yes.

The ride to the pizza place was full of questions from Daylan. Bobby couldn't believe how such a small person could ask so many questions. He asked everything from "Have you ever shot anybody?" to "Do you really get free dounuts?"

Jamie had laughed at Bobby trying to fit 2 car seats in the backseat of his Malibu, and at his refusal to use her car stating "I can do it, just give me a minute." Jamie had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that that wasn't exactly a statement a woman wanted to hear.

Throughout the ride and Daylan's endless question, which Bobby answered patiently, he stole sidelong glances at Jamie who sat staring out the window. He had been trying to use his skills to piece together a profile of the woman sitting next to him. He had been trying for two weeks to no avail. He had even considered running her through the police databases, but opted against it, choosing instead to give her a chance to tell him what was really going on.

So, what did he know about her? She was single, or so she said. She had answered the question about being married a little to fast for his liking. He had learned from the landlord that her last name was Hollis, she was 30 years old, and she was subletting from the former tenant.

Aside from that all he had to go on was her looks and her body language. Her body language told him she was scared. The way she sat as far away from him as she could in the car told him that. The way she stood on the opposite side of the elevator on the ride down to the parking garage spoke volumes as well. The way she jumped and looked like she was ready to run when a door slammed as she was buckling up the kids confirmed it. The woman was definitely scared and Bobby had a pretty good idea of what.

As far as her looks, oh, she was beautiful. Her eyes were an emerald green with hints of blue. (He'd bet money they could change between the two colors) She was average height, about 5'6; her hair was brown with a hint of red when the sun hit it just right. She had full breasts and hips and a slightly rounded stomach from just having Lilly. She'd probably say she was fat; he would say she was perfect. Needless to say he thought she filled out her jeans and t-shirt very nicely. He had also discovered when she left the laundry room earlier that he loved to watch her walk away.

Bobby was relieved when they finally pulled up in front of the restaurant. If he kept thinking like this he wouldn't be able to get out of the car without some embarrassment.

Once inside, Bobby suggested that Daylan go play in the bouncy ball house while they waited on their order.

After a few minutes of silence Bobby started things off. "So, Jamie, what part of Tennessee are you from?" he asked casually.

All the color drained from Jamie's face as she responded "How did you know I was from Tennessee?"

"Your accent."

"Oh, of course. I'm from Nashville, she said the color slowly starting to return.

"How did you end up in New York?"

"I needed a change and this seemed as good a place as any." She looked at him intently, her green eyes sparkling, "What about you? You one of those born and bred New Yorkers I'm always hearing about?"

Bobby smiled proudly, "Yes I am. Born and raised in Brooklyn; Carnarsie to be exact. Does your family still live in Nashville?" He wasn't going to let her change the subject that easily.

A look of sadness came over her face. "No, my parents were killed in a car accident when I was 4; my grandmother raised me until I was 12. After she died I spent the next six years in and out of foster and group homes." As soon as the words left her mouth, Jamie mentally slapped herself. "Where did that come from? He doesn't need to know that," she thought to herself.

At her look of sadness Bobby wanted desperately to reach across the table, to cup her face in his hand, to caress her cheek with his thumb. He wanted to feel her lean into his touch; he wanted to tell her that everything would be alright. Bobby almost did just that, but the moment was broken by Lilly's sudden cries.

As Jamie took Lilly from her carrier, she noticed a slightly embarrassed look on Bobby's face. She stood from the table, preparing to take the crying baby somewhere else. "Sorry; she'll quiet down in a minute. I just need to..."

"No, it's not that. You're, ummm, you're kinda..." Bobby motioned vaguely with his hand causing Jamie to look down. She turned tree shades of red as she saw two very large, very visible wet spots on the front of her t-shirt.

"Here," Bobby stood and removed his flannel shirt and handed it to her.

Jamie was too busy watching the play of muscles in his arms and chest to realize what he was doing.

"Jamie?" He held the shirt out for her to take.

"Thank you," she said, trying to drag her mind back to the task at hand. "Will you hold her for a minute? Please?"

Bobby took Lilly, laying on his chest just under his neck and began to gently pat her back in an effort to soothe her sobs. Lilly let out a very un-ladylike burp and promptly fell asleep clutching the material of Bobby's black t-shirt in her tiny hand.

The pizza arrived and Bobby went to get Daylan. watching then walk back to table Jamie was struck with how at ease Bobby seemed to be with her children. The only time Sam had ever paid attention to Daylan was in public, and that was only if someone was watching.

She was also struck with how handsome Bobby was. Tall, with broad shoulders. Jamie couldn't recall ever seeing someone with shoulders quite so broad. He had big strong hands, yet somehow she sensed a gentless in those hands. A gentless she had never known before. He had an easy grace, which was hard to believe for a man of his size. And that voice, she was gonna have to watch that voice. His voice could easily lull her into a false sense of security, causing her reveal to much. It almost had.

Back at the table, Bobby laid a sleeping Lilly carefully in her carrier, taking care to tuck the blanket in around her.

He then turned his attention to Daylan. "So, Dayla, Halloween's in 2 days, what are you going to be?"

Daylan stubbornly folded his arms across his chest, "I'm not going," he sulked.

"Why not?"

"Because I want to be a cop, but Mama said we have enough money to buy the costume."

"Darlin' please don't start," Jamie begged, this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have here. I already told you we can go trick or treating; we just have to be creative this year."

Bobby tried to help. "You know, when I was little, not much older than you, I wanted to be a cowboy. My mom couldn't afford the outfit, so you know what I did?"

"What?" asked Daylan hanging onto Bobby's every word.

"I put on my regular clothes and went trick or treating. When people asked me what I was supposed to be, I told them I was an alien from the planet "Yukotron", disguised as a little boy from earth," Bobby told Daylan conspiratorially.

Daylan face began to brighten with the possibilities. Jamie smiled at Bobby and mouthed the words "Thank you."

As Daylan's imagination ran wild with ideas for Halloween costumes, neither Jamie nor Bobby noticed the man with the icy blue stare watching them from across the restaurant.


	3. Chapter 3

Halloween night found Bobby and Jamie meeting once again on the elevator.

Bobby noted her upswept hair with just a few curls framing her face. He took in her light covering of make up: light pink lip gloss on her full lips and lavender eye shadow which caused her emerald eyes to look a though they were sparkling. She wore a black skirt, cut just above the knee with a slit in the side which showed just the right amount of thigh when she walked and a lavender silk blouse that clung to her full round breasts. She had a simple white gold chain around her neck that held an antique pendant which nestled in the top of her cleavage. She was stunning and the sight of her caused his pulse to quicken and his blood to pound in his ears.

"You look lovely," he told her; a simple but true statement.

Jamie gave an exasperated chuckle. "Thank you, not that it did any good today."

"Tough day, uhh?"

"Job interviews," Jamie leaned against the wall of the elevator, her shoulders slumping. "A series of BAD job interviews."

Bobby cocked his head to the side, asking, "What kind of job are you looking for? I might be able to help."

"Depends, can you find me a job with great pay, flexible hours, and free childcare?"

"No," Bobby said chuckling.

"In that case I'm looking for anything. But apparently there isn't anyone in the entire state of New York hiring."

"What did you do before you had Lilly?"

Batting her eyelashes and in her best Scarlet O'Hare voice she told him, "I depended on the kindness of strangers."

Bobby tilted his head back and laughed heartily, causing Jamie to laugh along with him. However she couldn't help but think to herself, "If he only knew how true that was."

For the past 10 months Jamie had been living "underground". It was hard to explain what being underground meant. Basically she had called a number, met someone, and was given a new life. It was pretty much like witness protection, but without the same protection and a whole lot scarier. She was given a new name, new birth certificate, new social security number, and directions to someone's home. She would show up in the middle of the night at a stranger's door and pray for the best. She would stay anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.

It was after giving birth to Lilly, alone in the backseat of her car on some deserted country road, that made Jamie finally decide to try settling down. The thoughts of everything that could have gone wrong had haunted her as she drove onto the next house. She had called shortly after arriving and asked to be placed somewhere permanent. They had strongly advised against it; Sam was still on the war path and using every trick he had to try and find her. He had finally gotten his old hunting buddy, John, to charge her with kidnapping and child endangerment.

By now though, she didn't care. She had to try and make a life for her and her kids, even if giving them that life ended up costing her hers.

Bobby's hand waving in front of her face brought her back to the present. "Earth to Jamie," he said softly.

"Sorry; it's been a long day. What did you say?"

Smiling, Bobby said, "I said, if you wanted I could make a few calls, see if any of my friends know of something."

"Thank you, I would really appreciate that," Jamie replied gratefully.

Walking to their respective apartments, Jamie said, "I'm gonna pick the kids up from Mrs. Sabatelli's in about an hour. We're gonna have spaghetti for supper before we head out. You wanna join us?"

It was a good thing Jamie was slightly leaning against her door, because the drop dead gorgeous smile Bobby gave her almost had her swooning at his feet.

"Thank you, I'd really like that."

"Great, I'll see you about six?"

"I'll see you then," Bobby said.

Jamie didn't know what had made her ask him over for dinner. Maybe it was because she was in need of some adult conversation or maybe it was because of the way Bobby made her feel, like everything was going to be okay, like it was all going to work out somehow.

As Jamie opened her door, Bobby called her name. "Jamie, everything's going to be okay; it'll work out somehow, just give it a chance.

Smiling, Jamie replied softly, "I hope so, I really hope so."

Bobby arrived promptly at six. He had always prided himself on being on time. Before she had gotten sick, his mother had tried to instill that in him saying, "It shows you're responsible, and besides its just good manners." It was one of the few things from his childhood he was glad he had learned.

Jamie opened the door, frustration on her pretty face. At Bobby's questioning look she explained. "He's not going trick or treating because he doesn't think anyone will believe he's dressed up as anything."

"Where's he at?"

"In his bedroom, pouting."

"You mind," Bobby asked.

"Go ahead, first door on the right," Jamie said opening the front door wide and indicating with a wave of her arm the direction of Daylan's bedroom.

Jamie's apartment was simple; sparsely furnished with second hand furniture, a few pictures of the kids, and no personal touches. it looked to Bobby as though everything that meant anything to her could be thrown in a bag at a moments notice.

Bobby gently knocked on Daylan's door.

"Come in," came the sad reply.

Daylan was sitting on his bed looking as though the world as he knew it had come to an end. Bobby went over and sat down next to him.

"Your mom says you're not going to go trick or treating."

Daylan shook his head no.

"Why not?" Bobby asked.

Daylan shrugged his little shoulders, never looking up to meet Bobby's gaze.

"A few days ago, you told me you wanted to be a cop. What happened to that idea?"

"I don't have anything that looks like a uniform."

"You don't have to wear a uniform to be a cop. I don't wear a uniform," Bobby said.

"You don't," a surprised Daylan asked, looking up at Bobby.

"Nope, I'm what's called a "plain clothes detective". I wear whatever I want. All I have to have is a badge."

"Oh," Daylan replied disappointedly, the slight flicker of excitement in his eyes starting to fade.

Bobby suddenly stood and picked Daylan up, saying, "You're coming with me."

Bobby strode through the apartment like a man on a mission. All he said to Jamie was, "We'll be back," as he went out the front door, still carrying Daylan.

Bobby quickly entered his apartment, depositing Daylan on his kitchen counter. He then went into his bedroom and came out a few minutes later with his hands behind his back.

Daylan look at Bobby slightly puzzled, as Bobby told him stand up on the countertop. Daylan was now eye to eye with Bobby.

Bobby looked Daylan up and down before finally saying, "Yeah, this is perfect."

Bobby placed his gold shield on Daylan's belt telling him, "You're a fine looking officer, Detective Daylan Hollis."

Daylan's little face beamed with pride as he looked down at the golden shield. "I can really wear your badge?" he asked Bobby.

"As long as you promise not to loose it, yes," Bobby said smiling at the joy he saw on the child's face.

"I have to show Mama and sissy!!" Bobby quickly grabbed him as he started bouncing up and down with excitement.

Bobby helped Daylan down off the counter and the little boy ran towards the door. Stopping short, he turned around and went back to Bobby, motioning for him to bend down.

Bobby squatted in front of Daylan. Daylan wrapped his little arms around Bobby's neck and kissed him on the cheek saying, "Thank you 'tective Bobby. I love you."

Before Bobby could respond, Daylan was out the door shouting, "Mama, come look!!"

After supper, which Jamie and Bobby were rushed through by a now ecstatic Daylan, Bobby stood to leave, thanking Jamie for a wonderful meal.

"You can't leave yet, you have to go trick or treating with us," Daylan said and quickly added, "You don't want us out alone at night in a strange city, do ya?"

"Well, ummmm...." Bobby rubbed the back of his neck trying to think of something to say. He wanted to go with them, but he didn't want Jamie to feel like he was forcing himself on her. She was skittish enough and he knew he was going to have to take things slow and easy.

"Honey, Bobby might have plans tonight," Jamie said, giving Bobby an out.

"Actually, I don't," Bobby said. He was hoping that Jamie would now be the one to invite him.

"Please come, 'tective Bobby," Daylan begged. "You know all the good places to go."

"He has a point, you would know of all the good places," Jamie said with a small smile.

Bobby knew that was about all the invitation he was gong to get from Jamie. "Well, in the interest of good trick or treating, I'd better go along."

"Yes!!! This is going to be great," Daylan crowed as he pushed Bobby and Jamie out the door.

At the first door, Daylan straightened the shield on his belt before ringing the bell. The door opened and Daylan proudly proclaimed "Ma'am, I'm 'tective Daylan Hollis and I'm here to....ummm...I'm here tooo...." turning to Bobby he asked, "What was I 'posed to say?'

Bobby bent over and whispered something in Daylan's ear.

"Oh yeah." He turned back to the lady at the door. "I'm here to 'finscate your candy!"

Daylan held his bag open as the three adults tried, unsuccessfully, to control their laughter.

"You told him to confiscate people's candy?" Jamie asked in between the peals of laughter.

Bobby gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged his shoulders. "He's a cop; it's what we do."

As Sam watched from a distance, his anger grew. "She's gonna pay," he thought as he caressed the hilt of his gun. He had always found a strange kind of comfort in the coldness of its steel.

Sam smiled as he remembered the last time he had held it to her head. He had relished the fear in her eyes and voice as she promised him anything, as long as he put the gun away. He'd held her to her promise, locking Daylan in his bedroom so they wouldn't be "disturbed". Sam had humiliated her that night, breaking not only her body but her spirit as well.

As Sam thought about all the "lessons" he was going to teach her, his anger began to subside.

"Soon," he whispered into the darkness, "Soon you'll be mine again."


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie was standing at her mailbox looking at bills she couldn't pay. She hadn't heard Bobby approach or say her name, so when he gently touched her on the shoulder, she almost jumped out of her skin as she wheeled around.

"Jesus, Bobby, DON'T do that!! You scared the hell out of me!"

Jamie's hands were shaking, her breathing erratic, and there was a wild look of fear in her eyes.

"Jamie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you; I thought you knew I was here."

Bobby was lightly gripping Jamie by the elbows. When the tears began to form, he pulled her into his embrace. "Shhh, its okay I've got you," he whispered, tenderly rubbing her back with his left hand.

As Bobby continued to whisper words of comfort, Jamie could feel the tension and fear drain from her body. The scent of him was intoxicating, a mixture of earth and autumn, and something that was strictly Bobby. She wanted to get lost in his embrace, to feel safe and unafraid.

As Jamie closed her eyes, images of Sam assaulted her senses. The icy blue stare of his eyes penetrated her soul, as fear once again tried to insinuate itself into every fiber of her being.

Placing her hand on his chest, she forced herself to leave his arms. Jamie shook her head as if she were trying to lift an invisible fog. "I'm sorry, I don't... I'm sorry."

Bobby placed a finger under her chin tilting her face upwards. "Don't apologize; you don't have anything to be sorry for."

Jamie absently wiped away the tears that were still threatening to fall from her eyes. "Did you need something?" she asked, taking a step back.

"Let's go for a walk. There's something I want to talk to you about," Bobby said.

"I don't know, Mrs. Sabatelli's had the kids all afternoon, and I don't want her think I'm taking advantage."

"Are you kidding?" Bobby asked chuckling. "I ran into her out front this morning, and all she could talk about was how much fun she's having with those two. Come on, we won't be long."

Jamie nodded and Bobby placed his hand on the small of her back guiding her out onto the sidewalk.

Once outside, Jamie stepped away from Bobby's hand, keeping a close but safe distance.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Bobby pulled a business card out of his breast pocket and handed it to Jamie. "I think I've found you job. My buddy Lewis owns an auto body shop; he needs someone to help him get organized. I've tried but..." Bobby shrugged his shoulders and slightly shook his head; "Anyway, I thought you might like to give it a try. The pay's not great, but it's enough, the hours are flexible, and he said that you can bring the kids with you when you needed to."

Before she realized it, Jamie had flung herself into Bobby's arms saying, "Thank you Bobby, thank you!" She jumped back just as quickly. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to..."

"Jamie, you want to thank me, quit apologizing."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep..."

At Bobby's raised eyebrow, Jamie began to softly laugh, "I can't help it, force of habit."

"That's okay," Bobby replied giving her a wink and a gentle nudge. "I'm off on Sunday, what do you say I take you and kids to the zoo?"

"Daylan would absolutely love that."

"What about you?"

"I'd love that too," Jamie shyly answered.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Bobby finally decided now was a good time to ask one of the many questions he had.

"Jamie, there's something I want to ask you. You don't have to answer if you don't want to; but where's the children's father?"

"He's longer in the picture. He hasn't been for a long time."

"Why not," Bobby asked, gently prodding for a better answer.

"He wasn't cut out to be a father; he had never wanted to be one to begin with. Daylan was a huge surprise and he tolerated him because that's what everyone expected. In the end it was better if we left."

"What about Lilly?"

"He doesn't know about her. I left before I found out I was pregnant."

They continued to walk as Bobby let what Jamie had just said sink in.

"Do you still love him?" Bobby suddenly asked.

Taken aback by the bluntness of Bobby's question, it took her a moment to answer.

"I thought I did," Jamie replied. "But now, I wonder; there's no love or even anger anymore. Just a feeling of relief that it's over."

"How can you not be angry?"

"I was, for a long time; but then I realized I'd never be able to truly live my life holding onto that kind of anger. Alright," Jamie said ready to try lightening the mood, "I told you something about me, now it's your turn."

"What is this, a game of 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'," Bobby asked, immediately turning red as he realized what he had just said.

"I didn't mean it like that..." Bobby said, rubbing the back of his neck and slightly stuttering.

"I know," Jamie replied, smiling at how cute he looked when he stuck his foot in his mouth.

"Come on, give," she begged him. "Tell me something about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

Thinking, Jamie finally said "Tell me something about your family."

This time it was Bobby's turn to look sad, "There's not much to tell. My parents have passed away and my brother was killed a few months ago."

"I'm sorry Bobby. I didn't mean to bring up painful memories."

"It's okay; you had no way of knowing. Besides it's not like I remember all the good times we had."

"That rough?" Jamie asked.

"Let's just say, you're not the only one who's been trying to run from demons."

Jamie's steps briefly faltered. "Who says I'm running?"

"Come on Jamie, there's no need to lie about the obvious. In a way, I envy you a little. It must be nice to just pick up and leave, pretend like nothing bad ever happened."

"Don't say that. Don't say that you're envious and then pretend you know me, you don't know who I am." Jamie's voice rose slightly and held a hint of anger. "I had to run, I didn't have a choice. If I'd have stayed he would've... I don't want to talk about this."

Bobby watched as she walked away. "Reverse psychology," he thought, "You gotta love it."

Bobby caught up to her in just a few long strides, stepping in front of her to block her path.

"He would've what, Jamie?"

"Leave it alone, Bobby. It's not important."

Jamie tried to side step him, but Bobby moved with her preventing her escape.

"Yes it is important. What would he have done?"

Jamie refused to look at Bobby as she desperately tried to fight back the tears. "Bobby don't; please just, don't."

Bobby gently cupped her face in his right hand, causing Jamie to look at him. To look into his eyes; eyes that held understanding, concern, and something else that Jamie couldn't quite identify. "What would've happened," he asked her softly.

In a voice barely above a whisper and raw with emotion, Jamie answered, "He would have killed me." The tears that Jamie had been fighting so hard to hide finally fell.

Bobby brought his other hand up to her face. With feather light touches, he wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "I'm sorry he hurt you; I'm sorry you've spent so much time being afraid; and I'm sorry no one was there to protect you," he whispered.

Jamie leaned into Bobby's touch. What was it about this man? Jamie didn't understand why, she just knew she wanted this moment in time to last forever.

Bobby watched the play of emotions in Jamie's eyes, and he slowly lost even more of his heart to her. For the first time in his life, Bobby didn't think, as he lowered his lips to hers.

As their lips touched, a heat began to spread throughout their bodies; warming them against the cold November winds. Bobby deepened the kiss, as Jamie cautiously ran her hands up his arms, to his shoulders, finally entwining then around his neck.

When Bobby touched his tongue to hers, Jamie could taste the electricity, the passion, and the desire. She opened her heart to him; and Bobby laid claim to it, time stood still, while the leaves of autumn danced at their feet.

That night, as Jamie stepped into the shower after putting the kids to bed, she was consumed by thoughts of Bobby. She could still taste the salt in his kiss, the heat of his body as he had held her close.

She was so lost in her thoughts she never heard her front door open or close....


	5. Chapter 5

Jamie laid her head against the cool tile wall of her shower as Lilly began crying, thinking "Five more minutes, honey; please."

Lilly's cries became more frantic and fearful. Something wasn't right, she had never cried like this before.

Jamie shut off the water, grabbed a towel, and hurried down the hall to the bedroom she shared with her 6 week old daughter.

"I't's okay, baby, Mama's coming."

Jamie froze when she saw Sam standing there holding Lilly. Jamie's heart pounded and there was a loud roaring in her ears. Fear crept up her spine; cold as death. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move; she couldn't even think as she stood staring at the man before her.

"So is this brat mine?" he casually asked.

Jamie opened her mouth to speak, to scream, but her voice remained frozen in her throat.

"I asked you a question."

"Y-Yes."

Sam gave Lilly a look of utter disgust, "Get over here and shut her up or I will."

Jamie moved quickly, taking Lilly with trembling hands. She held her close patting her back in a soothing rhythm and begging her to be quiet. As Lilly began to calm down, Jamie sent up a quick prayer of thanks, followed by one asking for mercy.

"Put her down, we need to talk," Sam said with an unreadable expression on his face.

Jamie laid Lilly in her crib, turning around to find Sam standing just a few feet away.

"So, Jamie, love the new name by the way, did you actually think you'd get away with this?"

Inching away from the crib, Jamie remained silent. If she could just figure out how to get to the door and out into the hallway, she might have a chance. She could scream, pound on a neighbor's door, something; anything for help. The only problem was Sam stood between her and the only way out.

She saw Sam's face turning red with anger. "What did he say?" Jamie hadn't been listening, her mind was too busy racing with possible ways to get out, and trying not to think about what would happen if she didn't.

The back of Sam's hand hit hard across her face. "Answer me, damn it!!!"

Jamie swallowed the cooper taste of blood. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"You're sorry?! That's all you have to say to me; sorry!?!" Sam was advancing, slowly removing his belt. "What are you sorry for? Embarrassing me; humiliating me in front of the entire town?"

Sam began backing Jamie into a corner, his belt now in his hand.

"You belong to me, I love you. How could you leave? How could you hurt me like that?" Sam wrapped the belt around his hand. "I loved you when no one else would and this is how you thank me? By layin' up with that cop across the hall!!!"

At Jamie's look of surprise, Sam leaned in close and whispered, "Yes, I know all about Bobby, and I'll deal with him later."

Jamie tried to step away from the evil that threatened to envelope her, only to realize that she had nowhere to go as her back pressed against the wall.

"Please..." she whispered, turning her face away from Sam.

Sam trailed the tip of his finger along Jamie's cheek; grasping her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her face back to his.

"Don't worry, I'll forgive you; eventually," he said, kissing her softly on the lips.

The sting of the belt was a feeling Jamie knew all to well. As the leather cut into her skin, Jamie closed her eyes and retreated into her mind. The more Sam struck her, the further Jamie went, until the pain began to feel like a distant memory.

Bobby was still agitated as he and Alex rode the elevator up to his apartment. He had been in the middle of the most amazing kiss of his life, with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, when his cell phone had started ringing.

Bobby had never really cared for Ross; but right now he hated him with a passion.

Ross had sent him and Eames to check a lead on a case they were working. It had turned out to be one very big wild goose chase. Now, Ross wanted them to re-examine evidence that was in a file, which of course Bobby had forgotten on his desk at home.

"How could an evening start out with such promise and end so badly?" Bobby thought to himself.

As he and Eames stepped off the elevator, Bobby's heart stopped. Daylan was sitting outside Bobby's door, his little knees drawn up to his chest.

"Daylan?"

The little boy looked up at Bobby with a tear stained and blood streaked face. " 'tective Bobby, I can't make Mama wake up."

Bobby bolted into the apartment. "Jamie!!" he yelled. He felt like it took an eternity to get to the bedroom.

"Jamie," Bobby said her name as though the breath had just been ripped from his lungs. He tried to close his eyes against the sight before him, but he couldn't; the cop in him wouldn't let him.

Jamie was lying on the bed, her wrists bound to the headboard. She was covered in blood and for some strange reason Bobby thought he'd never seen so much blood. Bobby could see the smudges on her face where Daylan had tried to wake her. Jamie was so pale; a ghostly white contrast against the dark sheets. For a brief moment Bobby thought she was dead. He felt like his heart was trapped in a vice as he willed her to move, to breathe.

At Jamie's slight groan, Bobby rushed to the bed, covering her with his jacket. "Eames, call a bu--"

"They're on their way," Alex said, snapping her phone shut and moving to the crib to try and comfort a screaming Lilly.

Bobby cut Jamie free and gathered her in his arms. He began to gently rock Jamie back and forth, as he smoothed her hair away from her face. Bobby laid soft kisses on Jamie's forehead, begging her, "Stay with me Jamie, help is on the way. Please hold on, I've got you now. Just, please, hold on."

Daylan tugged on the sleeve of Bobby's flannel shirt asking, "Is Mama gonna be okay, 'tective Bobby?" Bobby wasn't able to answer him.

Alex and Captain Ross entered the ER to find Bobby pacing outside the trauma room. He reminded Alex of a caged panther. Despite the rage and worry that was bubbling just beneath the surface; Bobby continued to move with a subtle grace and an air about him that demanded not only your attention, but a cautious approach.

"Detective, how is she?' Ross quietly asked.

"I don't know, they haven't told me anything yet."

"Bobby, do you have any idea who could have done this?" Alex asked.

"Ex-husband, I think, I'm really not sure," Bobby said, running his blood stained hands over his face.

"Do you have a name?" asked Ross.

"No."

"What do you know detective?"

"Not enough!" Bobby said, allowing his anger and frustration to show.

Alex stepped in between the two men, placing her hand on Bobby's arm. "Bobby, I brought you a change of clothes, go get cleaned up."

For the first time Bobby noticed the blood on his clothes and hands. "Thanks, Eames," Bobby said, taking the small duffle bag and heading to the men's room.

When the door closed, Ross turned to Alex, "What do you think?"

Taking a deep breath, Alex replied, "I think we better find this guy before Bobby does."

"I think you're right, detective."

Bobby stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, "I'm a cop for Christ's sake, I should've been able to protect her," he thought to himself.

Bobby closed his eyes and saw Jamie lying lifeless on the bed. He could see the fear in Daylan's face and he could hear Lilly's cries. He wondered what, if anything, Daylan actually saw of the attack. He wondered if Jamie had screamed or if she had pleaded for her life. But, mostly, Bobby wondered how a man could do this to a woman, a woman he had promised to love and protect.

Bobby didn't realize he smashed the bathroom mirror, until he felt the sticky warmth of blood running down his hand.

When Bobby finally came out of the men's room, he saw Captain Ross and Eames talking to a doctor in hushed voices.

"Dr., I'm Robert Goren, I came in with Jamie Hollis. How is she?" Bobby asked as he approached.

All noticed Bobby's bloody knuckles, but at Alex's stern look and the slight shake of her head, they chose not to ask.

"She's still unconscious. She has a small skull fracture, a few broken ribs, and several of the lacerations required sutures. She was also sexually assaulted; we won't know the extent of the damage for a few days. There is a possibility we'll have to do a hysterectomy. We are going to need to contact a family member, someone who can make medical decisions for her."

"There's no one to contact," Bobby said, taking a deep breath to steady his voice. "Will she be okay?"

"She's been through a lot detective, and I'm not just talking about tonight. This young woman has been used as a punching bag for a long time. There's evidence of old fractures and broken bones, most of which I'd say she never received medical treatment for. She's a very lucky lady."

"When do you think she'll wake up?" Bobby asked.

"A few hours, a few days, I really don't know. We've done all there is to do for now, the rest is up to her."

Nodding his head Bobby said, "I need to see her, I have to be with her when she wakes up. She's going to be scared and worried about her children; she needs me with her."

Dr. Raye smiled gently at Bobby. "I'll take you to her, after I bandage that hand."

Bobby shook his head again, and followed Dr. Raye down the hall to an exam room.

Bobby sat apparently fascinated by what Dr. Raye was doing to his hand. Truth was he didn't want to look at her. Looking at her meant having to make small talk, something Bobby wasn't in the mood for.

"You're lucky there aren't any glass shards in your hand, detective."

"Yeah, I know," Bobby said, rubbing the back of his neck with his good hand. "Umm, I'll pay for the mirror and whatever else."

"Believe me, you will," Dr. Raye said with a bemused smile on her face. "Here's something for pain and an antibiotic. Change the dressing twice a day and you should be fine in a week or so."

"Thanks, Doc," Bobby said, rising to his feet and taking the prescriptions. "Can I see Jamie now?"

Dr. Raye stood, leaning against the counter, looking at Bobby intently. "You care for her, deeply." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

Bobby averted his gaze, he had never liked being on the receiving end of an interrogation.

"Yes, more than I realized," Bobby softly replied.

"Be good to her, detective. God knows she needs someone, too." With that said, Dr. Raye headed out the door. Bobby fell into step behind her as she led the way to Jamie's room.

Bobby sat next to Jamie's hospital bed watching the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. Her right eye was swollen, her lip had been busted open, and blackish/purple bruises had formed on her body.

Bobby held her hand in his, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "Jamie, please wake up. Please just open your eyes for me. Daylan and Lilly need you to wake up. Hell, I need you to wake up. Please, Jamie, just open your eyes."

"Why wasn't I there?" Bobby thought to himself, "She needed me and I wasn't there, I could've stopped this."

Bobby brought Jamie's hand up and held it against his cheek, remembering how she had felt in his arms earlier in the day.

Her kiss had started out very tentative, but as she had relaxed into his touch, she had grown bolder. Wrapping her arms around his neck and stretching upwards to allow him full access to her mouth. The fire that had passed between them was indescribable. Bobby had wanted to devour her, to hold her so close, so tight, that their bodies melded into one. He had never felt with anyone the way he felt with Jamie; being with her was like being home. A very foreign feeling for Bobby, but one he wanted desperately to keep.

Bobby kissed the inside of Jamie's palm. With tears welling up in his eyes. he whispered into the darkness, "Please wake up Jamie. I need you. I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Jamie awoke in semi-darkness. As her eyes adjusted to the low lamp light, she realized where she was and how she had gotten there.

"God, Sam found us. I the kids, we gotta leave," was all she could think as she attempted to sit up in bed.

Fear gripped her; she couldn't move. Why couldn't she move? She slowly began to run her hands around the bed. She felt a strong arm draped across her waist as her other hand came into contact with a scruffy beard and soft curls.

"Bobby; it's only Bobby," she thought as she breathed a sigh of relief. "Why was Bobby here? How did he find me? Daylan. Daylan must have went and gotten Bobby. The kids, I need my kids," Jamie thought as she tried once again to sit up.

The soft touch of Jamie's hand on his face had roused Bobby and the feel of her fingers tangled in his hair had brought him fully awake. He tightened his grip as he felt her try to gently move his arm so she could slip out of bed and, Bobby figured, out the door.

Jamie was so focused on trying not to wake up Bobby, she didn't notice him slightly raise his head and rest his chin in his right hand.

Bobby waited until Jamie had almost extracted herself from under his left arm before asking, "Where are you going, Jamie?"

Jamie swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry. She didn't want to have to face Bobby, she didn't want to have to explain, and she didn't want his sympathy; she just wanted to disappear. In truth, she didn't want to have to say good-bye.

"Does it really matter?" Jamie asked.

"It does to me," Bobby said, reaching over to turn on the lamp above the bed.

Bobby gasped as he got his first actual look at Jamie's back. Her back was crisscrossed with large welts; bandages covered the areas where the skin had been broken. You could see the faint outline of old scars under the newer ones.

"What happened to your hand?" Jamie asked, idly playing with the tips of Bobby's fingers.

"Don't change the subject."

"Answer my question," Jamie countered.

"I had to defend myself against an insane bathroom mirror."

Jamie chuckled, immediately wincing at the pain.

Bobby moved to sit beside her on the bed, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Do you need me to call the nurse?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine. Where are my clothes?" Jamie asked, a determined look now on her face.

"You don't need clothes; you're not going anywhere," Bobby said, with an equally determined look on his face.

"Am I under arrest?"

"Of course not, Jamie."

"Then do not tell me what I can do and where I can go," Jamie said rising from the bed. She wasn't prepared for the sudden wave of nausea and dizziness that swept over her. Her hand went to her head as she staggered backwards.

"Whoa, sit back down," Bobby said, catching her by the elbow and guiding her back to the bed.

Jamie pushed Bobby's hand away saying, "I'm fine, really I am."

"Who are you trying to convince, me or you?" Bobby asked.

"I have to go, Bobby, I can't stay here. I have to get the kids, we have to go. So either help me or leave me alone."

"You have been unconscious for two days; you need to be in the hospital. Besides, your apartment is still a crime scene, you can't go home yet."

"I need my children," Jamie said more forcefully.

"The kids are fine," Bobby told her firmly. "They're with Mrs. Sabatelli. I've been calling and checking on them a few times a day; they are fine."

"You don't understand. I need my kids so we can leave. The faster the better," Jamie said with tears in her eyes and panic rising in her voice.

"Then help me understand, Jamie. Tell me what happened."

Exhausted, Jamie laid her head on Bobby's shoulder. God, how she wanted to tell him; tell him everything. But how could he ever understand, when she didn't understand it herself.

Twelve years; twelve long years Jamie had stayed, despite the physical and verbal abuse. Not to mention all the things Jamie refused to think about.

Jamie had met Sam when she was 17 yrs old. He was 10 yrs older than her, charming and sophisticated, and he had wanted her. Sam was right when he said that he had loved her when no one else would. Her grandmother had never really wanted her; Jamie reminded her too much of her daughter, Jamie's mother.

After her grandmother's death, Jamie had tried to be the perfect potential daughter, auditioning for the various families the state had sent her to live with. No matter what she did, she just couldn't ever seem to hit her mark. She just wasn't good enough, eventually ending up in a group home at the age of 16. That's where she had met Sam.

Sam had been a deputy on the local police force, volunteering his time to come and make repairs on the dilapidated old house. Jamie had been immediately smitten with the handsome and outgoing officer. In the few days he was there, Sam had paid her more attention than anyone ever had. He had wanted to get to know her and had seemed to actually care about what she thought. By the time he had finished the repairs, Jamie was in love. A few weeks later, when Sam had gotten permission from the nuns to invite Jamie on a picnic, she eagerly accepted.

For 6 months they exchanged long phone calls and even longer letters. The sisters had allowed Jamie to date Sam, as long as a chaperone was present. Sam was always the perfect gentleman, even on the rare occasions they were alone. He said that he didn't want her to do anything she wasn't completely sure she was ready for. So, on her 18th birthday, when Sam had surprised her with a small diamond engagement ring, Jamie had allowed herself to finally believe in fairytales and said yes. They were married three weeks later.

"Bobby, I have to go," Jamie said urgently.

"No, you don't. Whatever is going on, I can help; if you'll let me. Just please talk to me, Jamie."

"I can't," Jamie whispered.

Bobby kissed the top of her head, wishing they could stay like this, Jamie wrapped in his arms safe from the outside world.

"Where will you go?" he whispered softly.

"I'm not sure, somewhere far away."

Bobby took a deep breath, he didn't like this. "Will you promise me something?"

Jamie nodded her head against Bobby's shoulder.

"Stay with me, at least until you heal. Then if you still feel like you have to leave, I won't try to stop you."

"Okay."

"Do you promise?" Bobby asked.

"I promise," Jamie softly replied.

The next morning, at Jamie's insistence, Dr. Raye released her from the hospital. During the ride home Bobby rambled aimlessly, as Jamie looked out the window.

"I told Mrs. Sabatelli to keep the kids until after you get settled. I thought you might want to take a nap or a bath first. Figure out what you want for dinner; we could get take out or I can fix something. I'm a pretty good cook. Boy, the traffic's awful today; I thought people had to take a test before they could drive."

"Bobby, you're rambling."

"Yeah, I know," Bobby said, chuckling nervously. "Sorry."

"That's okay," Jamie said with a slight catch in her voice.

Bobby looked over to see tears starting to form. "Why are you crying?"

Jamie shook her head and wiped her eyes saying, "It's nothing."

Bobby reached over, taking Jamie's hand in his. He entwined their fingers and lightly squeezed. "Please tell me."

"Really it's nothing." They continued the drive in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Bobby never let go of her hand, and Jamie was glad.

Bobby's apartment wasn't what Jamie was expecting. She had assumed it would be a typical guy place: functional. Instead it was warm and inviting, painted with earth tones and accented with dark wood trim. He had a large leather sofa with matching armchairs. Along one wall were book cases, filled to the brink with everything from Archeology to Zoology. An antique mahogany desk sat in the corner and an eclectic selection of Asian art completed the picture.

However, Bobby was still a guy; a large flat screen TV hung on the wall opposite the sofa above an impressive stereo system. To his credit, it looked as though he had an equally impressive record collection. This of course, was all hooked up to surround sound.

"Nice place."

"Thank you," Bobby said smiling. "Eames brought over some of your stuff; she put it in the guest room. If you need anything else. let me know."

"Who's Eames?" asked Jamie.

"My partner; I've told you about her. You'll get to meet her tomorrow, she and Capt. Ross want you to come down and make a statement."

"I won't be giving a statement. I'm not pressing charges," Jamie firmly stated.

"Jamie, you were attacked and left for dead, you have to press charges. Besides, once the fingerprints and DNA come back, the case will move forward; whether you want it to or not."

Jamie was quiet for a moment; she wanted to choose her next words carefully. "Bobby, do you care about me; the kids; what happens to us?"

"Yes, which is why I am asking you to cooperate with Eames and Capt Ross. Let them help you; let me help you," Bobby pleaded with her.

"Doing that would be the equivalent of asking me to sign my own death warrant; you can't ask me to do that. Now, I want to see my children." Jamie's tone left no room for further discussion.

"I'll go get them," Bobby said, determined to talk to Jamie about this later.

Bobby returned a few minutes later, and upon seeing Jamie, Daylan ran across the room and launched himself at her. Jamie tried not to flinch at the pain caused by Daylan hugging her tightly and bouncing up and down in her lap. Even Lilly showed excitement at seeing her mother again, waving her arms and legs wildly, and making loud cooing and gurgling sounds. It was almost as if she were trying to leap out of Bobby's arms and into Jamie's.

"Mama, Mama I missed you, I'm so glad your back!" Daylan said; planting kisses on Jamie's face.

"I missed you too, baby. And you, my pretty girl," Jamie said reaching for Lilly and snuggling against her.

"Mama, does it hurt much?" Daylan asked, lightly touching the bruises on Jamie's face.

"Are you kidding? After all those hugs and kisses you just gave me, it doesn't hurt at all," Jamie said, smiling warmly at him.

"What made him mad this time, Mama?" Daylan quietly asked.

Jamie knew the questions were coming, she just wasn't expecting them to come this soon. "I don't know, baby. The important thing is, he's gone now, and he's never coming back."

"That's what you said last time, Mama," Dyaln said, hanging his little head.

The tears came on fast; and try as she might, Jamie couldn't fight them. She slid Daylan off her lap, kissing him on top of the head and whispering, "I'm so sorry, baby." She stood and handed Lilly to Bobby, then headed for the bedroom.

Thirty minutes later, there was a soft knock at the bedroom door. "Jamie, can I come in?" When Jamie didn't respond, Bobby eased the door open. "Jamie," he called to her softly.

Jamie looked up at Bobby from where she sat on the bed with fresh tears in her eyes. "I broke my promise," she whispered.

"What?" Bobby asked, closing the door and moving to sit next to Jamie on the bed.

"I broke my promise," Jamie said, more forcefully.

"What promise?"

"When Daylan was born, I was watching him through the nursery window and this old woman walked up. I had no clue who she was, and she said, "You know when a baby is born, they know all of God's secrets. As they grow and lose their innocence, they lose their secrets. Don't let your baby lose his secrets." Then she just walked away. Later that night, I was in my room holding Daylan, absolutely amazed by this perfect little person I had made, when I realized that the woman was right. At that moment, he knew all the secrets of the universe and I promised him; I promised him Bobby, that I would do whatever I had to do to help him hold onto those secrets. He's 3 yrs old and he's lost too many secrets; too much innocence. I broke my promise." Jamie put her face in her hands and began to cry once again.

Bobby put his arm around Jamie, pulling her close to his side. "You didn't break your promise. you risked your life to keep you promise, to protect his innocence."

"It wasn't enough."

Bobby gently tipped her face up and looked at her, his eyes full of compassion. "It's a hell of a lot more than you realize. Not every mother would do what you've done; you should be proud."

"I can't break anymore promises."

"You won't."

"No, I won't," Jamie said, her voice full of strength. "It's time for this to end. What time am I suppose to give my statement?"


	7. Chapter 7

Jamie stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Bobby juggle eggs. Much to Daylan's delight, Bobby would throw one up in the air, catching it behind his back, causing the three year old to laugh and say "Do it again!" Even Lilly was in awe of the big detective, kicking her legs and cooing every time Bobby would stop to make faces at the infant.

"You're quite the showman," Jamie said as she entered the kitchen.

"Thanks. Hey, watch this," Bobby said, bending down so he was face to face with Lilly. Bobby stuck out his tongue and began to move it side to side and up and down. Lilly's eyes followed his every movement before sticking out her tongue and repeating the motions. Bobby smiled proudly saying, "Good job, Chipmunk!" Looking up at Jamie he said, "Isn't that neat?"

"Very," Jamie replied, laughing.

"What smells so good," she asked as she ventured further into the kitchen.

"Me and 'tective Bobby are making boo berry pancakes," Daylan said, with more pancake batter on him than in the skillet.

Jamie walked over to the counter. Wiping pancake batter off Daylan's mouth she asked, "Honey, you do realize that you should probably cook the pancakes before you eat them?"

"It's good, sides, 'tective Bobby does it," was the little boy's response.

Bobby gave Jamie a boyish grin and shrugged his shoulders. "It's a guy thing," Bobby said, sticking his finger in the bowl, and then licking off the batter.

Jamie just rolled her eyes as she tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh.

Bobby lifted Daylan off the counter, wiping the little boy's mouth with a dishtowel. He said, "Go wash up little big man, and let me talk to your mom for a minute."

Daylan hurried down the hall leaving Jamie and Bobby alone in the kitchen.

"So," Bobby asked, "are you ready for later?"

Jamie looked away to gather her thoughts, before finally returning her gaze to Bobby. "No, I'm not. I don't want to do this and I honestly don't know if I'll be able to. But, I don't really have a choice do I? Then again Sam has always been good at leaving me without a choice."

At Bobby's raised eyebrow, Jamie answered his unspoken question. "Sam is my ex-husband. I left almost a year and a half ago. After I filed for divorce, he came after me. Needless to say, things didn't end well. I take that back, something good did come from that night. At least I think so," Jamie said, smoothing Lilly's hair and smiling lovingly at her daughter.

"So, ummm, he's done this before," Bobby asked.

Jamie nodded her head, staying focused on Lilly.

"Did you report it to the police?"

"It wouldn't have done any good," Jamie said softly.

"Why do you say that? They would've arrested him, put him in jail, they would've…"

"Bobby, they never done anything all the other times I went to them. They just called him to come and get me so we could work things out in private."

"They what," Bobby exclaimed, the anger showing in his voice. Bobby instantly regretted the harshness of his tone as Jamie slightly jumped and took a step a back.

"Jamie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay; you're okay. I know that," Jamie said more to reassure herself than Bobby.

"Why wouldn't they arrest him,' Bobby gently asked her.

"Because you don't arrest cops," Jamie softly replied.

Before Bobby could respond, Daylan came bouncing back into the kitchen. "Can I have chocolate milk to go with my pancakes," he asked eagerly.

"You can have orange juice," Jamie said, smiling brightly at her son.

It impressed Bobby at how easily Jamie was able to hide her emotions; it also worried him.

Daylan was sitting on the couch swinging his legs back and forth when Bobby came into the living room after breakfast. "Whatcha doing, little big man?" Bobby asked.

"Waitin' on Mama to come and tie my shoes."

"Lucky for you, I'm an expert shoe tier," Bobby said sitting down on the couch and lifting Daylan's foot up to his lap.

"Are you okay? You've been very quiet since breakfast," Bobby asked.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking," Daylan replied.

"About what?"

"My dad."

"What about your dad," Bobby asked as he finished tying Daylan's shoes.

"He don't like us much, does he?" Daylan asked.

"Why do you say that?"

"He's mean to us, 'specially Mama. He likes to hurt her and you're not 'possed to hurt the people you love."

"No, you're not," Bobby gently replied.

"Why does he do that, 'tective Bobby," Daylan asked. There was a sadness in his eyes that Bobby recognized. It was a look he had seen often in his own face as a child; a look he still sometimes saw.

"Dads can do very stupid things and sometimes that means hurting the people who love them."

"That is stupid," Daylan said solemnly.

"Yeah, it is," Bobby replied, pulling Daylan over into his lap and giving him a gentle hug.

"Can you make him go away, 'tective Bobby," Daylan asked next, looking at Bobby with pleading eyes.

"Don't you worry little big man, I'll make him go away," Bobby said, cradling Daylan against his chest and pressing his check against the top of Daylan's head. "I promise."

Jamie stood off to the side, silently watching the exchange between Bobby and Daylan. She closed her eyes and whispered a prayer, asking God to please let Bobby be telling the truth.

Bobby could feel the nervousness radiating off Jamie as they rode the elevator to the 11th floor. She played with the hem of her shirt, chewed on her thumb nail, and continuously tucked her hair behind her ear. Even Daylan's constant chatter wasn't enough to distract her and Bobby wondered if Jamie would be able to go through with this.

As the bell dinged and the doors opened, Bobby took Jamie by the hand and smiled at her reassuringly.

"You ready?" he asked.

Jamie drew in a shaky breath and nodded her head.

Alex watched as her partner stepped off the elevator. She was caught off guard by how natural it looked for Bobby to have an infant carrier in one hand and a three year old bouncing at his feet. What really surprised Alex was how she felt when she saw how Bobby looked at Jamie. It wasn't jealousy; that ship had sailed, for use of a better term. Any romantic notions Alex had harbored, and there had been a few, had quickly dissolved, leaving them with a deep and lasting friendship that Alex wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Even if she did want to kill him sometimes. No, what she was feeling was envy. Not since Joe had a man looked at her the way Bobby was looking at Jamie. It was a look of love, understanding, and acceptance; a look Alex missed seeing. It was a look that she hoped Jamie saw.

"Jamie, this is my partner, Detective Alex Eames," Bobby said as they approached.

"Hello Jamie, it's nice to meet you," Alex said, reaching to shake Jamie's hand.

Jamie hesitated, not wanting to let go of Bobby. So far his firm grip on her hand was the only thing keeping her in the building.

"Hello Detective," Jamie whispered, finally letting go of Bobby to shake Alex's hand.

Bobby could sense Jamie's trepidation and quickly moved his hand to the small of her back.

"Bobby, why don't you take Jamie to #1 and I'll go get Ross," Alex said, unsure of what to make of Bobby's protective gesture.

Bobby gave Alex a small smile as he led Jamie to the interrogation room.

Ross had been watching the exchange through the window of his office. Investigation-wise he didn't like what he saw.

"Goren's going to be an obstacle," he thought to himself. "He's too emotionally involved. Not the first time it's happened, but this time it's different."

Ross hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel yet another migraine fast approaching, something that had become common place when dealing with his best detective.

"Damnit Goren, why do you have to be such a pain in the ass," Ross whispered to himself as the throbbing in his head turned into a sharp stabbing pain.

"Captain, Bobby's here with Ms... Are you alright, sir," Alex asked stepping inside the office and stopping short when she saw the pain on her captain's face.

"I'm fine, Eames, thank you. Goren does know that he can't be there when we question Ms. Hollis, doesn't he," Ross asked.

"Of course Captain. I thought that he could observe...."

"No," Ross stated firmly, cutting off Alex. "Goren cannot be involved in this investigation."

"But Captain, this is Bobby we're talking about. Trust me, this will be a lot easier if we just let him help out on this," Alex said.

"Eames, I read the medical reports and I saw Ms. Hollis's injuries that night at the hospital. I will not let some scumbag defense attorney get this guy off on a technicality. And I will not let Goren be that technicality."

Alex took a deep breath; she hated being between her partner and her captain. The cop in her knew she needed to listen to her captain, but the rest of her wanted to protect her partner.

"Is that understood, Eames," Ross asked in a no-nonsense tone.

"Yes, Captain," Alex replied. "But Bobby's not going to like it," she thought to herself.

Bobby was just about to re-enter the interrogation room as Captain Ross and Eames approached.

"Where are you going, Detective," Ross asked.

"Back in there with Jamie," Bobby said, hooking his thumb towards the door.

"What about the kids, Bobby? They really don't need to hear this. Maybe you should keep them out here," Alex said.

"I know that Eames, that's why Wheeler's watching them for me. She jumped at the chance to get away from the new guy for a bit," Bobby said half laughing. "What's going on," he asked, looking from Eames to the Captain.

"You can't be involved in this, Detective," Ross said compassionately.

"But, Captain, Jamie's scared and vulnerable right now," Bobby stammered. "She doesn't know the two of you and if you push too hard, you'll lose her. I need to be able to run interference," Bobby insisted.

"We won't push too hard," Ross said becoming irritated.

Bobby ran his hand over the back of his neck and pressed his lips tightly together, while trying to calm the sudden rush of anger. "She needs me with her, Captain," Bobby said, stressing every word.

"Does she need you, or do you need her," Ross quietly asked.

"What," Bobby nearly shouted, an astonished look on his face.

"Bobby, I think the Captain may feel that you're too close," Alex said, stepping in between the two men; trying to defuse the situation. She placed a gentle but firm hand on Bobby's arm and looked him right in the eye. "Now, please trust us. If there's any problem I'll come and get you. We've got this Bobby," she reassured him as he turned his face away from hers.

"What if she needs me, Eames," Bobby asked softly, a helpless look on his usually stoic face.

"She'll be fine, Bobby. She's stronger than you realize, stronger than she realizes," Alex said. She followed Ross into the interrogation room, leaving her partner standing alone in the hallway.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 9**

Jamie sat staring blankly at the table top. She had to force herself not to jump at every little sound coming from the other side of the door.

_"It's okay,"_ she kept reminding herself. _"This time is different; these people are different. They'll try to protect me from Sam, and even if they can't, Bobby will,"_ she thought.

Jamie gave a slightly bitter laugh. _"Who am I to ask something like that of him? I've barely known the man a month and I expect him to be my knight in shining armor. To make all my problems go away, to make me feel safe and protected, to make me feel normal again._

_"Normal, talk about a joke, I don't even know what that is anymore. Nothing in my life has ever been normal,"_ she continued, arguing with herself.

_"Bobby's a good man and he deserves more than I am able to give. He deserves someone who is smart and funny and beautiful. Someone who can love without fear. And that someone isn't me."_

Jamie was jarred from her thoughts by the sound of the door opening.

"Jamie, this is Capt. Danny Ross. He's going to sit in with us, if that's okay." Alex said, taking the seat directly across from Jamie.

Jamie nodded her head and Capt. Ross sat down saying, "I know you've been through a lot and this is going to be difficult. So anytime you need to take a break let us know."

"Okay," Jamie said in a barely audible whisper.

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Ross suggested, "and we'll ask questions as we need too."

Jamie sat trying to gather her thoughts and control her emotions.

"Where's Bobby?" Jamie suddenly asked.

"He's with the children. We thought it might be best if it were just the three of us," Alex replied.

"Good. It's just there are some things I don't want him to know yet. I know he's gonna find out; I'll have to tell him. I'm just...I'm just not ready to."

Ross smiled tenderly at Jamie. "Detective Goren won't know anything you don't want him to. You have my word."

"Okay, I guess I need to start by telling you my name isn't Jamie Hollis. It's Jessica Deveroux and the man you're looking for is my ex-husband, Sam Deveroux. Sheriff Sam Deveroux.

"The man who did this is a cop," Alex asked feeling a knot beginning to form in the pit of her stomach.

"Yes."

"When did the abuse start?" Alex asked.

"A few weeks after we were married. I had to work late and didn't get to pick up his uniform from the dry cleaners. Later that night he told me he was sorry and begged me to forgive him. He even cried. So, I did. I forgave him and everything was fine for a few weeks, until I messed up again."

"What happened," Alex asked.

"He had some friends over one night after his shift. I didn't know they were there and I came downstairs to get something to drink. All I had on was the t-shirt I had been sleeping in. Sam said that I had done it on purpose and that I wanted them to look at me. He followed me back upstairs and when we got to the bedroom he hit me hard across the face. He said that if I wanted to act like a whore, he'd treat me like one. He threw me down on the bed and he, ummm…. He…" Jamie closed her eyes against the sting of tears.

"Was that the first time he sexually assaulted you," Alex asked.

"Yes," Jamie said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "When he was finished he made me get dressed and go back downstairs to fix his buddies something to eat."

"His friends were present during all of this," Alex asked as she tried to fight the bile rising in her throat.

Jamie swallowed hard and nodded her head.

"Who were his friends," Ross quietly asked.

"Cops from his department. They didn't do or say anything. They knew; they couldn't even look at me when I came back down. They knew and did nothing; they just acted like it was nothing. They just…" Jamie wrapped her arms around herself as she began to sob.

"Why don't we take a break," Alex suggested rising from the table. "Let me get you something to drink."

Bobby had been pacing out in the hall, stopping every few minutes to lean his ear against the door; straining to hear what was happening inside. So far all he had heard were faint murmurs. He was having better luck overhearing the whispers of his fellow detectives.

_"Great, more break room gossip,"_ he thought. _"At least they can't say I never gave them anything,"_ he said to himself as he briefly remembered some of the more bizzarre stories that had resulted from his, at times, odd behavior.

Bobby was just leaning into the door when it suddenly opened and Alex ran square into his chest.

"What are you doing?" she harshly whispered as she quickly closed the door.

She could easily believe that he was eavesdropping; she expected nothing less from him. What she couldn't believe is that he was stupid enough to get caught doing it.

"How is she? What's going on?" Bobby asked trying to catch a glimpse of Jamie. "Why is Ross walking around the table; what's he doing?"

"He's getting her a tissue, she's upset," Alex said attempting to push Bobby away from the now closed door.

"What did he say to her? I'll kill him," Bobby said reaching for the door handle.

"Goren, calm down!" Alex ordered, her tone instantly stopping Bobby. He would never admit it, but he was always slightly intimidated when Eames used her cop voice.

Bobby opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, saying nothing. He knew he was being irrational, but when it came to Jamie every thought and feeling he had seemed irrational. At least to him.

"Bobby, she's okay. This is nothing we can't handle," Alex said in a much softer voice. "Relax, take a walk, go up on the roof and smoke a cigarette; something. Just calm down."

Bobby tried to give Alex his best "How dare you accuse me" look, only to have her laugh in his face.

"Bobby, I'm a major case detective. I knew you were going to buy that first pack before you did. At least you're starting to cut back."

Bobby hung his head, looking suddenly like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Yeah, well I don't like to smoke if I know I'm going to be around Daylan and Lilly."

"Goren!!!" came a voice from the bull pen.

Bobby looked up to see Megan Wheeler heading towards him holding Lilly out in front of her. Daylan was behind her dragging the diaper bag down the hall.

"I don't do dirty diapers," Wheeler stated, handing Lilly to Bobby and turning to head back to her desk.

"Wheeler, come on, you promised to watch them."

"I promised to watch them, not to change them," she said as she sat down at her desk.

Bobby turned to Alex and gave her what he thought was his most charming smile. "Eames, would you mind…"

Alex held up her hands saying**,** "I really need to get Jamie's water."

"Alex…" Bobby said in an almost whiny voice.

Alex laughed as she stepped around Bobby. "There's a changing table in the ladies room," she called over her shoulder as she entered the break room.

Bobby gave Lilly a half-hearted smile and looked down at Daylan. "I guess we need to change sissy's diaper."

Daylan sat the diaper bag on the floor at Bobby's feet saying, "I just carry the bag 'tective Bobby."

Bobby cradled Lilly in his arms. "Looks like we're on our own chipmunk." If Bobby didn't know better, he'd swear that Lilly smiled at him.

Bobby looked around the bull pen helplessly as he picked up the diaper bag. He had done a lot of things in his life, but changing a diaper wasn't one of them.

Bobby suddenly smiled. Looking back at Lilly he said, "Come on sweetheart, Captain Ross won't mind if we use his desk."

When Alex re-entered the interrogation room, Jamie's cries had subsided. Alex sat back down, handing her the bottle of water and asking, "Is there anything else we can get you?"

"No, thank you."

"Are you ready to continue?"

Jamie took a drink of water and nodded her head.

"Why don't you tell us about when you left," Ross said.

"We had been celebrating Sam's re-election. I had made him angry, although I still have no clue how. When we got back home from the party, he started hitting me and accusing me of having an affair with the town judge. The next morning, after my mother-in-law had dropped Daylan off, Daylan asked me if I had made Sam mad. I told him yes and then he asked "Is Daddy gonna hit me too?" I told him that Daddy would never hit him and he asked me if I promised. I couldn't. I couldn't promise my son that his father would never hurt him. So after Sam had left for work, I packed a bag and we left."

"Where did you go," Alex asked.

"A women's shelter a few counties over. They helped me get a job, a place to live, and file for divorce. I didn't hear from Sam until after he was served with the divorce papers. I had ordered pizza for supper. When the bell rang, I just assumed it was the delivery guy. I hadn't seen or heard from Sam in six months; I thought I was safe."

"What did he do?" Ross asked.

"I opened the door and he stuck a gun in my face and he forced me back into the living room. Daylan ran at him and Sam jerked him up by the arm and basically threw him into his bedroom and locked the door. Daylan ended up with a broken collar bone. Sam beat me. He held the gun to my head and threatened to kill me; to kill Daylan. I begged and pleaded and promised him anything as long as he didn't hurt us anymore. By the time he was finished, he didn't have a choice but to take me to the hospital.

Once there I lied and told them that I had been attacked by a stranger, and that Sam just happened to find me.

"A few days before I was supposed to be released, a nurse slipped me a piece of paper with a phone number on it. It said that if I wanted out to call and I did. It was the number for the women's underground network. The day I was to be released, Sam came to get me and the nurse who had given me the number said that she had some kind of paper snafu. Sam had to go and take care of it. As soon as they left some woman came in and said that if I wanted to go we had to go now. I got Daylan and we left. That was a year ago."

Alex and Ross sat quietly as Jamie told the rest of her story. Jamie was oddly detached; she spoke as though she was telling them about someone else.

However her body language made it very clear who victim was. Jamie kept her arms wrapped around herself as if she were trying to shield off an unseen threat. She had a hard time maintaining eye contact and when she did look at them, you could see shame and fear reflected back at you. She still believed that it was her fault, that she somehow deserved what had happened.

When the questions were finally over, Ross assured Jamie that they would issue a warrant for Sam's arrest and asked if she had any questions.

"Are you going to take my children," Jamie asked, the first hint of emotion in her voice since she had first broken down.

"Why would we do that," Ross asked with a look of confusion on his face.

"Because Sam had the judge charge me with kidnapping."

"Let's not worry about that right now," Alex said, reaching across the table and squeezing Jamie's hand. "We'll talk to the DA and something will be worked out."

Jamie took a deep breath, "Thank you," she said, fresh tears starting to form. Only this time they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of relief.

The questions had taken longer than anyone thought and it was well after lunch before Jamie finally emerged from the interrogation room. She didn't talk about what had happened, only to reassure Bobby that Capt. Ross and Alex hadn't done or said anything that wasn't necessary.

They had stopped at one of Bobby's favorite diners for a quick lunch. After returning to Bobby's apartment, he had insisted that Jamie take a pain pill and lay down.

Jamie awoke later that night from a restful and dreamless sleep, to find Lilly and Daylan already tucked into bed. Lilly in a bassinet borrowed from Alex's sister and Daylan in an old army cot that Bobby had been keeping in storage.

Jamie slipped from the guest room intent on finding Bobby and thanking him for everything he had done.

As Jamie began to make her way down the hall, she was brought to a halt as the bathroom door opened and she saw Bobby's reflection in the mirror.

His hair was still damp from his shower. He wore only a pair of jeans that he had left unbuttoned. He had a slight belly, which Jamie thought made him look all the more attractive. Bobby had a sparse covering of chest hair that formed a small trail down his stomach disappearing into his jeans. Jamie took in his long legs and bare feet before slowly raking her eyes back up his body, finally coming to rest on his face.

Jamie found something strangely erotic about the way Bobby smoothed the shaving cream over his face. The graceful and delicate way he held the razor in his right hand as he touched it to his neck, preparing for that first stroke.

She watched mesmerized as Bobby slowly drug the razor up his neck. She laughed when she heard him begin to swear under his breath when he cut himself.

Bobby turned at the sound of Jamie's laughter. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"It's just, I've never heard you cuss before," Jamie replied as a fresh wave of giggles hit.

Jamie's laughter was contagious and Bobby soon found himself chuckling as he said, "Well, if you think you can do a better job, come on."

Jamie stepped into the bathroom and took the razor from Bobby. Bobby's hands went around her waist and he lifted Jamie up so she was sitting on the counter in front of him.

"What made you decide to shave?" Jamie asked as she took a tissue and wiped the blood from the side of Bobby's neck.

"I was just going to trim it but I didn't like the way that looked. So I decided to shave it and start over. Only to find out that I can't shave with my right hand."

"Well, maybe this will teach you to stop beating up helpless mirrors," Jamie said as she gently placed the razor against Bobby's skin

As Jamie started to shave Bobby's face she said quietly, "I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For being so nice to me and the kids. For letting us stay here with you while the police finish up with my apartment. And for not asking questions and demanding answers."

"You're welcome," Bobby said as Jamie finished and wiped his face off with a hand towel.

Before either one of them realized what was happening, Bobby lowered his head and began to gently kiss Jamie on the lips.

Jamie wrapped her arms around Bobby's neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Bobby lightly traced his fingertips along the outside of Jamie's thighs as his tongue hungrily explored her mouth.

Bobby smiled when Jamie moaned into his mouth and wrapped her legs around his waist. Bobby's fingers continued their teasing path up into the legs of her sleep shorts. Bobby broke their kiss, moving his mouth to her neck. Bobby kissed, licked, bit, and gently sucked on her skin.

Jamie arched into Bobby's touch, pressing her full and heavy breasts against his chest.

"Please, Bobby," she whispered, not knowing what it was she was asking, but knowing that Bobby had the answer.

Bobby could feel Jamie's hardened nipples through the thin fabric of her t-shirt and his arousal grew. Bobby pulled Jamie to the edge of the counter and pressed his hardness against her. He wanted her to feel how badly he needed her.

Jamie gasped and her body stiffened as desire flowed from her. Instinct and need overtook her and Jamie slowly began grinding her hips against Bobby's.

Bobby could smell Jamie's arousal and he could feel her wetness as an almost primal groan escaped from deep within his chest. Bobby pressed himself more fully against Jamie as his left hand made its way under and up her shirt. He gently cupped her right breast in his hand as his thumb lightly raked across Jamie's sensitive nipple.

Jamie tugged on Bobby's hair bringing his lips back up to hers. Jamie kissed Bobby with a hunger and a passion unlike anything she had ever experienced.

Jamie's hands roamed freely over Bobby's back and chest. She savored the feel of his skin, the taste of his kiss. She wanted him; she needed him and she wanted to give herself to him in return.

Jamie's hands slowly made their way to the waistband of Bobby's jeans. When she hesitated, Bobby broke their kiss again and looked deeply into her eyes. He smiled at Jamie and silently urged her to continue.

Jamie never broke eye contact as she unzipped his jeans and slid her hand inside. Jamie wrapped her hand around him and Bobby's breath hitched. He rested his forehead against hers trying to maintain control.

As Jamie's hand began to explore, Bobby's breath quickened. When he found himself starting to move with her, Bobby gently took her by the wrist and removed her hand.

At Jamie's look of confusion and uncertainty, Bobby stroked her hair and smiled at her.

"It's okay, baby. We've got all night and we're going to do this right," Bobby saidhuskily as he lifted Jamie from the sink and carried her down the hall to his bedroom.

Bobby gently laid Jamie on his bed and kissed her deeply. He reveled in the feel of her body shaking with desire beneath his.

Bobby rose to his knees and slowly began removing Jamie's shirt. He stared in amazement at the woman now lying on his bed. Her hair was spread out around her on the pillow, her lips swollen and bruised from his kisses.

Bobby lowered his head and flicked her nipple with his tongue. Jamie arched up and dug her fingers into his hair. "God, yes, Bobby," she groaned as her legs once again found their way around his hips.

Suddenly, reality crashed down around them as Lilly's piercing cries echoed throughout the apartment. Bobby and Jamie lay there a moment, neither one knowing what to say or do.

When it was evident that Lilly needed attention, Jamie lightly pushed at Bobby's shoulder, signaling him to roll over so she could move. Jamie rose from the bed reaching for her shirt; she was suddenly embarrassed and unsure of herself.

"She's probably hungry," Jamie apologized as she slipped her shirt on and headed for the bedroom door.

When Jamie opened the door, Bobby called her name.

"Jamie…"

Jamie turned to look at him, but Bobby didn't know what to say. They silently stared at each other for a moment, both desperately searching for something to say; anything.

Jamie was the one to speak first. "Goodnight, Bobby," she softly said, closing the door behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

Jamie lie awake, anger and frustration building as her mind replayed the evening's events. Frustration over what didn't happen and anger over what she had almost allowed to happen.

She had known when she saw Bobby standing there that she needed to turn around, go back to her room. But it was as though she was being drawn to him by an invisible force.

Her mind reeled and her face reddened when she thought about what she had done. How she had thrown herself at him. She felt like her body had betrayed her. She had never re-acted to anyone's touch the she had Bobby's; not even Sam's.

Of course Sam had never touched her the way Bobby had; gently, lovingly. Sam had made it clear early in their marriage that her job in the bedroom was, as he put it, "to keep her mouth shut and her legs open."

Jamie thought back to her wedding night. She had been a virgin and was nervous and uncertain. She had been eager to please her new husband; however her hesitation and lack of knowledge had angered Sam. He had finally just held her down on the bed and taken her, no gentleness or preparation involved. After Sam had fallen asleep, Jamie had gone into the bathroom and cried.

Of course Sam had apologized the next morning, blaming his actions on being anxious and promising her that it would never be like that again. But it was; there was never love only anger.

Jamie thought back to Bobby's kiss. How his tongue had teased her lips, begging entrance. She had granted him permission and he gently explored her mouth, smiling against her lips as she began returning his kiss.

His hands had moved slowly and with purpose. He had stoked the fire building inside of her while waiting for any sign that he needed to stop.

Jamie had done nothing to stop Bobby; instead encouraging him to continue. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, to feel the weight of his body over hers. She had wanted to be consumed by Bobby; she wanted to be his.

Tears filled her eyes. What could she offer Bobby except a life of heartache, a life full of uncertainty and fear? Fear of Sam and what he would do next.

Besides, could Bobby love her if he ever knew the truth? How sometimes she had wanted Sam to beat her. How she was so empty inside, so desperate to feel something; anything that she had welcomed the pain. That there were times she still longed to feel that pain.

Jamie pulled the blankets up close and tried to force sleep to come. Bobby couldn't ever love her. He wouldn't.

Bobby lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he had been thinking. Only to come to the conclusion that he hadn't.

Jamie has been through enough without him adding to her heartache, which is what would happen if wasn't careful.

What did he have to offer her anyway? After his mother's illness and his suspension, he was far from being financially stable. A situation made worse after Frank's murder. Frank had owed everybody in town and after his death Bobby was expected to pay up.

What would she say when he told her about his mother's illness and how he was fast approaching an age where it could present? Schizophrenia presents in a person's 20's and 50's. He had passed the first hurdle, would he be so lucky the second time around?

He didn't want to even think about what her reaction would be to the news of his biological father. When she looked at him would she see what he sometimes saw: the reflection of a serial rapist and murderer looking back?

Bobby remembered how Jamie had jumped that morning when he had raised his voice. For a second, however brief, Jamie didn't see him, she saw Sam. It was a look that both angered and broke Bobby's heart.

After she learned the secrets of his past, of his childhood, would she trust him to love her; to love her children?

Bobby wanted to love her. He wanted to love her more than he wanted air. But the question Bobby now asked himself was, "Would Jamie let him love her after learning the truth?"

Bobby's mind was racing with thoughts and doubts. He needed to clear his head, he wanted a drink. But the alcohol dulled his senses and he needed to remain sharp and alert for Jamie and the kids.

A quick walk, that's what he needed. He didn't want to leave Jamie alone, but a quick walk around the block would help him put things in perspective and help him to figure out where to go from here.

Bobby quickly dressed and grabbed his jacket and keys on the way out the door. He'd only be gone for a few minutes, what could possibly go wrong?

Bobby breathed deep as the cold air hit him. He could already feel the tension starting to leave his body. He jogged down the steps of his building, his mind separating his thoughts into categories of logic and emotion. Bobby didn't like emotion, he preferred logic, he knew how deal with logic.

As Bobby rounded the corner, he heard the sounds of a woman crying coming from the small alley between his building and the one behind it. He instinctively reached for his gun, swearing softly as he realized that he didn't have it. He quickened his pace, approaching the small entrance with caution.

In the shadow of the street light, he saw a woman sitting on the ground, her face beaten and bloody. He scanned the area, looking for anything that seemed out of place.

"Ma'am are you okay," Bobby asked, squatting in front of her and handing her the handkerchief from his back pocket.

Her terrified eyes darted to something just over Bobby's right shoulder. Bobby couldn't react fast enough to stop the metal pipe from landing hard against the side of his head.

Sam knew that the first blow was enough to knock the big detective out. He didn't care as he continued to assault Bobby, raining blows down on his chest, abdomen, and back.

Sam didn't stop until his breathing was ragged and sweat poured from his forehead.

"Get out of here, and keep your damn mouth shut," Sam said, dropping the bloody pipe to the ground and throwing a handful of bills at the hooker still sitting on the ground


End file.
